How to have a meeting
Southern Cross, where a colleague told me “You’re over-thinking it” about seating placement before a meeting
In another instalment of “exploring the (seemingly) obvious”, let’s explore how to have a meeting.
First, the meta: what is the context, why do you want to meet? Did you or they ask to meet? Is one party seeking something from the other - collaboration, resources? Recall the old saw from fundraising for non-profits, equally applicable in screen financing allocation environments: “If you want money, ask for advice; if you want advice, ask for money.” Plain old catch-ups ‘just because’ are good and low-key because there are no stakes, but you need a good relationship with someone. Busy people are shy of ‘catching up’ if things havn’t evolved substantially since last time. Mostly people want to meet For a Reason, so be clear about it - or at least that you have such a reason.
Preparation: find out the deeper who of who you are meeting, watch or read their work, find out what they’ve been up to. If they have put something out recently, be familiar with it.
Olive, Wellington: If the weather and climate are kind, nothing beats a courtyard
Location: at their place, yours or in the middle? When you go to(wards) someone, you give them status. Meeting in the middle is neutral ground. Choose somewhere suitable. Depending on the topic, loud and rattly is OK if there aren’t too many of you. Otherwise go for somewhere quieter.
Arrive a little early so you can choose a good spot, be settled, and welcome the other person into the space. They may also arrive early, in which case great! you have more time together.
If the other person isn’t present on time, make contact with them (yes, you’ve swapped mobile phone numbers ahead) to say where you are located. They are likely still making their way, finding a spot to lock their bike or park their car, etc. But could be in place sitting somewhere you can’t see them. (Yes, this has happened to me.)
Sharing food and drink is a fundamental part of people coming together. Before you start, offer the other person refreshments. You should certainly pay if they are doing you the favour by meeting.
Fidels: noisy but relaxed and intimate
Check when the other person has to leave and be clear when you need to go, say it out loud. It sets the parameter of time. Sometimes people have constraints on the other side (which means they have to rush off), sometimes they are flexible. You don’t want a situation like someone giving a lecture who leaves their best material till last, and runs out of time so they end up rushing through it and skipping the essence. Calibrate your conversation around the ‘content’ of your meeting. If you have something you need to address, make sure you get to it in time. If you know the other person wants to talk to you about something, get to it in reasonable time otherwise you’ll be there forever.
Put your phone on silent, or better yet away, don’t answer if it rings (unless you are meeting someone you can be that relaxed with). Conversely, if their phone rings, show that you are relaxed about them taking the call, it may be urgent and shows you are generous.
A tip shared by Karl Urban (passed on from Lucy Lawless) is to make a move to end the meeting relatively early. If things are going well, they will encourage you to stay and keep talking; it sends the important message that you are not going to suck up heaps of their time.
After the meeting, follow up. Of course thank the person for their time, travel etc. Send anything you said you would send, acknowledge receipt of anything they’ve sent, read/watch/listen to it, share your response. If appropriate, indicate what the trigger will be to meet again - a date, a milestone, a return from trip, completion of project that will mean you are available again, etc.
